Life feels like an elaborate juggling act. Juggling responsibilities and the hats we wear is exhausting. Sometimes I wish I could just hide in my Oodie and stay hidden from the world. Sometimes one little thing can throw my whole day off. How do you push away these feelings and get productive?
Lots and lots of practice and hard work. My juggling act is something I don’t focus on very often, but I made a mind map to get it all laid out as an example for what can help.
When I sit down and think about all the juggling I do everyday, I get tired. On top of these responsibilities, society adds to the pressure. For me, a young, half Puerto Rican woman in the South who is the daughter of a deacon in the Catholic Church, and still in my 20s, there are pressures that only apply to me. I used to live a double life and hide behind a mask in many social situations, but I am ready to show my whole self to the world.
For a long time, I was coping with my stress through eating and partying with friends. This was the road that led me here. In November 2021, I turned 27 and decided I needed to reevaluate everything. I am the person who puts my all into what I’m working on. I leave my own health and wellness out of the equation when necessary. Doing for others gives me more joy than doing for myself, and I say yes to any new opportunities that come my way.
If this sounds like you, it’s time to change. If you keep going on this path of self-neglect, your wellbeing is in jeopardy.
Juggling Until You Drop the Ball
So a little history about me. I have had many times where I got so overwhelmed that I started avoiding everything (e.g. the Oodie example from above). I would often use social outlets to feel better when I knew I had so much piling up. When I started blogging and taking classes again, this started to change. I went from feeling the walls close in to being able to breathe and focus on self-care a little.
My boys are one of the main reasons I started taking steps to getting balance and health in my life. I was the mom who screamed at her babies and put them in time out just to get a moment of peace. I was the mom who was angry most of the time. This rage boiling beneath the surface was well hidden by a finely tuned mask. There was a version of myself for the public and one for my family. I finally realized how much this hurt those closest to me.
When I felt myself so angry that I went into the office at our house and crouched down screaming and crying, I woke up. My husband protected me from myself as he has many times in our life together. He is the person who understands and sees me for who I really am.
The Shift from Juggling to Balance
This intense surge of feelings left me feeling numb. This numbness was a feeling I was all too familiar with in high school. I would put extremely high pressure on myself to get good grades in all AP and honors classes, keep a steady job, and have a healthy social life. It was a crazy mixed up time. I made it through with the love of my parents and my best friend.
For years in high school and early college, I used unhealthy coping skills: harming myself, starving myself, closing out the world, sleeping all day. These were the ways I could get rid of the numbness and start to feel something again. My anxiety was crippling, and I would get sick to my stomach often. But for those on the outside, the mask would stay in place.
When I met my husband and he accepted me and loved me for who I am, it brought me out of a dark place. I am a work in progress even now, but he can always see through my carefully crafted mask to who I am underneath. He was the reason I started changing my unhealthy ways of coping.
Flashing forward to Now
When I started seeing this volcanic rage effect my family, I talked to my doctor about medication. I needed help. She started me on antidepressants which have changed my life. It’s been a two year journey to find the right mix for my brain chemistry, but I am now confidently able to control my anger, anxiety, and depression.
I tell my clients what to do when emotions take over, but now I put my words into practice in my own life. I started a weight loss program as a way to build confidence. This program has helped me lose 40 pounds in less than 3 months. I eat healthier and am way more active now.
If you don’t take care of yourself, you cannot take care of those around you. I learned the value of self-care the hard way. Even when you don’t have time or feel too busy, taking a mindful moment to breathe or drink some hot tea can help.
Wrap Up: Simple tips for the Juggling Act
Healthy coping skills will make it easier to juggle all of life’s responsibilities. Some ways I keep up with self-care are by coloring, doing yoga, trying new DIY projects, reading, and playing with my kids. I make it a priority to include time for self-care everyday now, and it has opened up a whole new world for me.
Organize the chaos. So I see my life as a jumbled yet well-intentioned mess. I keep things moving forward by staying organized in my own way. I write everything down in at least three places and stick with a routine as much as possible. It’s more of a fluid than a solid plan for each day, but it works for us. My husband likes to have a set pattern and so do my boys, but I work best when I’m a little impulsive. I tend to go with what my heart tells me to work on at the moment as long as I have my goals met at my job and at home. Being flexible helps me to accomplish small goals and feel that success more regularly throughout my day.
I wish that there was an exact way of doing things that was guaranteed to work with everyone, but this is a personal journey that changes with each person. What works for me might make things harder for you. If you want to make things easier, you have to put in the effort so it’ll happen.
Let my story caution you against ignoring the anxiousness or letting your anger boil under the surface. Take steps today to change your life for the better. Strive for progress not perfection.
If you have any questions, feel free to comment below. For inspiration about self-care, check out Mindful Coloring and Stress-Relief Video Games.
Simply,
Soberry
This site is for educational purposes based on life experience and formal training as a counselor. I do not intend to replace advice from a licensed professional or sessions with a therapist. Read the full disclaimer for details. We list national helplines on the contact page.